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Terrehbau5

fuckin rekt
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Interview

4 min read
I'm bored as dicks and found a questionairre on someone else's dA so I was like "better put off finishing your character profiles for as long as humanly possible" so now you know my motives in this.

Age?
Nearly 17.

Sex?
Female

Label yourself (prep, goth, druggie, weirdo, etc)
Grunge fuckwit.

How long have you been cutting?
Over a year. Used to do unintentional self harm? Like, I would absentmindedly scratch my skin open when I got anxious.

Favourite tool?
I break shaving razors/take them apart.

Where (place) do you cut (school, home, etc.)?
Bedroom/bathroom

Do you have to wear long-sleeves & long-pants all the time?
I generally don't anymore but when I cut frequently in visible places (lower arms) I did.

Do you cut on your stomach, or chest?
Not frequently.

Are your legs, arms, & other body parts covered in scars?
Arms, upper thighs.

What’s your favourite excuse to use when someone asks about a cut?
I tell little kids I've got a mean cat and anyone else that asks gets a blunt "fuck you, it's no concern of yours."

Have you ever been hospitalized because of your cutting?
Twice. It wasn't ALL I got hospitalized for, but it's what sealed the deal in me going.

When was the last time you cut?
September 17th, 2014.

Off the top of your head, about how many scars do you have?
Easily over 125 visible ones.

Do you have (diagnosed) depression, and/or bipolar/bpd?
Depression, no BPD. I've had depression forever, I attribute the cutting to the development of my ED.

Who knows you cut?
Eveyone that meets me and knows that these scars aren't just birthmarks or some other odd thing.

Have you ever been caught cutting?
No.

Have your parents ever confronted you about a bloody sleeve, or towel?
Nope.

Did you have a good childhood?
Nope.

Why do you cut?
Punishment. Distraction. Relief. I fucking hate myself and want to see me hurt.

Have you ever talked to a therapist or counsellor?
Ye.

Do you want to stop cutting (but can’t because of addiction)?
Not particularly. I

Do you like cutting?
Pretty much.

How many times have you tried to commit suicide?
5.

What are your views on cutting, and other self-injury?
Get a hobby like writing or singing. This is 100% preventable, so don't fucking dip your toes in the water to even see what it feels like. Don't do it.

Do you like watching movies with self-injury?
Those exist??

Do you like looking at pictures of self-injury?
Eh.

Do you sometimes envy other people (non-self-injurers)
Reguarly. 

Have you ever taken any pictures of your cuts/scars?
Yeah. I don't think self injury is beautiful or anything. I have a fear of forgetting things so I "document" what the really bad cuts have looked like.

Do you want to die?
24/7

Have you ever done a school assignment on cutting, or self-injury?
No.

What do you like to listen to while cutting/depression/etc.?
I don't listen to anything. I don't want to associate music with self harm in the future.

Have you ever needed stitches from cutting?
There have been two times I should have received stitches but no one knew I needed them so I didn't get them.

Do you dream about cutting?
I don't do a lot of dreaming.

What do you use to bandage your cuts?
Gauze, sometimes tissue and tape.
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I haven't really officiated entering the Supernatural fandom by writing a fan fiction, so as a way to show that I'm here to write good SPN fan fiction by writing a few things. Mostly one shots like PWP and shmoop. This will include cliches, and I will try not to make them particularly horrible

Prompts (based on fan vernacular found on the wiki, I liked those names for prompts):

1. Some drabble
2. Hurt/Comfort
-Limp!Sam
-Hurt!Dean
3. Magical Healing Cock
4. In Conclusion, Cock
5. Mpreg (this one makes me feel genuinely icked out, so.)
6. Het fics
-Fem!Sam
-Fem!Dean
7. Curtain Fic
8. Fucken Shmoop
9. Cross dressing
10. Something stupid and cracky
11. Alternate Universe

I might come up with more later but not now.



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Um. If you guys have like 10 dollars you wanna spend and buy a book with some confessional poetry, feel free. Makes a good gift to people you know that enjoy poetry/are struggling.
Relates to eating disorders, depression, suicidal ideation, and self injury.

CLICK HERE TO BUY IT


help me out would ya

THIS IS YET ANOTHER GOOD PLACE TO CLICK IF YOU WANNA BUY IT



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If I published a book with my friend filled with poetry WOULD ANY OF YOU BUY IT IT'D BE CHEAP LIKE 9 DOLLARS.

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Damn

3 min read
I love staying up late and doing stuff I shouldn't be doing instead of sleeping... But I also really fuckin' love sleeping.

So at like 5:30 (I was going to say "my time" or EST to elaborate but then I thought some of you would think I'm a douche and I can't have that) I went to take a nap...

Right on the couch mid conversation with my boyfriend. I needed the nap, yes. I sleep like shit all the time and get such weird sleep during the school week it's not even funny. Even with those things being said I feel like a fucking asshole for taking a nice 3 1/2 - 4 hour nap.

I thought it would keep me from being weird tonight when I slept, but now I'm still fucking tired. They should cancel school tomorrow (I don't even give a fucking shit about going to school into June, what the fuck ever mate.)

On the bright side, tomorrow is friday.

On the not so bright side, I'm a fat asshole.

I don't know where that came from I've just got issues and for that I apologize.

I really like this journal skin and wanted an excuse to use it. Now I have.

Have a good day, shawtys.


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Interview by Terrehbau5, journal

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