I don't know

I'm scared of the monsters under my bed,
I sleep with with three blankets to ease the thoughts in my head.
The tiny light on my dresser keeps them at bay,
Anything to keep those damned monsters away.

You said it was perfectly fine,
That the nightlight didn't bother you since it eases my mind.
I smiled, thinking that was sweet,
Sweet that you could put up with me.

I'm scared of the monsters that have consumed my brain,
Disorders have affected more than me and become a pain.
I'm so damn selfish and I'm so fucking sorry,
I never meant to make you unhappy.

You said you got it,
Sometimes it's something people get.
I smiled again, so glad,
That my issues didn't make you mad.

Now I'm just scared of the monster that I've become,
Far worse than the hellish beasts in my nightmares,
Trumping the diseases in my head.
Bright red and screaming, I'm so horrible to imagine.

You said I didn't act like I loved you,
You said I made you cry,
You said I make you feel like shit constantly,
And I am so damn sorry.

The only right thing for you to do now is run,
I can destroy myself until I'm finally nothing,
But I can't live with myself doing the same to you.
Please wake up, please see.

I am the monster.
I am the one at fault.
It's always been this way but it's not too late
To ditch the nightlight and get away.