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About Literature / Hobbyist Member june ✿Female/United States Groups :iconwritersleague: WritersLeague
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Throw me into the ocean,
A beating heart tied to a cinderblock,
All because you said my name.

I can't help but wonder if you'll ever
Pull me out, just to toss me back in.
I'd gladly drown for you.

I am a cautionary tale of
Carelessness, you can avoid
Falling for someone that could be mistaken for you.

5 years around the thumb of a boy who
Couldn't care less,
Cautiously tip toeing around me, to someone better.

Locked away for half a decade,
A fraction of my life,
By a boy who forgot the key existed.

Ironically, today, jingling at the thumb
Of a girl who couldn't care less
Is my key.
everything is a
symbol, a
metaphor. a
whole new take on

ordinary

words are
not your friends,
and even your friends
think it's pretentious.

feelings will be
likely too intense
passion becomes
not a match, but

a force that rivals the sun,
unwavering, waxing
sadness becomes necrosis,
and eats away at the soul's quintessence.

may god watch over those you hate.
you will become a fierce mamba
beautiful and captivating, but words
will be venom with which you poison those who cross you.

when you are a poet,
everything is so much more
than a thing.
all things are metaphysical.

maybe that would explain why my heart is an anchor thrown to sea every time you walk by,
why you are sometimes not a person, but yearning stanza after yearning stanza, and you so easily become a part two.
maybe that's why your cologne becomes burning crystal meth under my nose and i succumb willingly to addiction,
why jealousy, inadequacy, and self hatred tie my tongue into painful knots and break syllables into stutters and my hands shake like my jaw...
maybe that's why i am eroding after centuries of storms, knowing i'll never be good enough, i suffer the same fate the ancient pyramids have, stripped down to my core, one with the dust that ate me away.
maybe that's why it makes my knees weak to see you smile, and causes them to fall out from under me when it's my fault you have.
and maybe you're much more than a person, maybe you're a poet's dream come to life.
perfect and out of arm's reach, i grasp and pull tendons to their limits to just try...
musings have mixed enough of my feelings to make me feel them all so intensely.

deviantID

Terrehbau5
june ✿
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Check out my literature group and join please: :iconwritersleague:

I suffer from a few chronic mental illnesses and I am very sensitive to triggers. Please be wary of talking to me about subjects like specific weights, BMIs, caloric intakes, exercise patters, purging, restricting, and things of that nature. I would also appreciate refraining from mentioning self harm in graphic detail. Thank you.

I fall off the face of the planet sometimes and don't update shit for like three years at a time on accident so I'm sorry I just do other things and get caught up with things and I'm a dangass I know and I apologize but falling off the planet doesn't mean I hate you you're a little ball of fuzzy joy and if there was a plush of you I'd so buy it and squeeze it's cheeks.

Feel free to thank if you want you're awesome and mannerly if you say thank you for stuff. I'm not about to demand llamas instead that's assy.
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Terrehbau5 has started a donation pool!
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SAINTS:
:icongorebeecormick: :iconalcetore: :iconart-of-the-seraphim: :icondoofiesaurus: :iconnikafargos:

So I can buy a permanent membership that I really want because i have no actual money. Will make fansigns and give llamas for points too.

Fansigns for points: Fansigns will be made and uploaded Fridays and Saturdays only. If you ask for fansigns on a Saturday your fansign will most likely be made THE NEXT WEEK. To acquire a fansign you must message me requesting one and what you want the fansign to read . If caps/punctuation are important please include them. Please set the amount of points you are willing to donate (10 or more.) If there are any delays in the fansign being able to be made, I will notify you and your minimum of points to donate will be lowered to 5. Requests for provocative fansigns or images will be rejected immediately.

Writing for points: You may request a one-shot or a short story to be written. You must include specific plot details if you have anything specific in mind. If you simply want something like a fluffy love fest between you and Harry Styles and don't care about the other details, please state this.
Point outline for writing:
< 3,000 characters - point range will vary
3,000 characters - 30 points
4,000 characters - 40 points
5,000 characters - 50 points
etc.

As previously stated I will also give llamas for points. 1 or more points must be donated to receive a llama.

You must be logged in to donate.
  • :iconnikafargos:
    nikafargos
    Donated Aug 14, 2014, 4:44:03 AM
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    dAhub
    Donated Jun 6, 2014, 9:39:09 PM
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I'm bored as dicks and found a questionairre on someone else's dA so I was like "better put off finishing your character profiles for as long as humanly possible" so now you know my motives in this.

Age?
Nearly 17.

Sex?
Female

Label yourself (prep, goth, druggie, weirdo, etc)
Grunge fuckwit.

How long have you been cutting?
Over a year. Used to do unintentional self harm? Like, I would absentmindedly scratch my skin open when I got anxious.

Favourite tool?
I break shaving razors/take them apart.

Where (place) do you cut (school, home, etc.)?
Bedroom/bathroom

Do you have to wear long-sleeves & long-pants all the time?
I generally don't anymore but when I cut frequently in visible places (lower arms) I did.

Do you cut on your stomach, or chest?
Not frequently.

Are your legs, arms, & other body parts covered in scars?
Arms, upper thighs.

What’s your favourite excuse to use when someone asks about a cut?
I tell little kids I've got a mean cat and anyone else that asks gets a blunt "fuck you, it's no concern of yours."

Have you ever been hospitalized because of your cutting?
Twice. It wasn't ALL I got hospitalized for, but it's what sealed the deal in me going.

When was the last time you cut?
September 17th, 2014.

Off the top of your head, about how many scars do you have?
Easily over 125 visible ones.

Do you have (diagnosed) depression, and/or bipolar/bpd?
Depression, no BPD. I've had depression forever, I attribute the cutting to the development of my ED.

Who knows you cut?
Eveyone that meets me and knows that these scars aren't just birthmarks or some other odd thing.

Have you ever been caught cutting?
No.

Have your parents ever confronted you about a bloody sleeve, or towel?
Nope.

Did you have a good childhood?
Nope.

Why do you cut?
Punishment. Distraction. Relief. I fucking hate myself and want to see me hurt.

Have you ever talked to a therapist or counsellor?
Ye.

Do you want to stop cutting (but can’t because of addiction)?
Not particularly. I

Do you like cutting?
Pretty much.

How many times have you tried to commit suicide?
5.

What are your views on cutting, and other self-injury?
Get a hobby like writing or singing. This is 100% preventable, so don't fucking dip your toes in the water to even see what it feels like. Don't do it.

Do you like watching movies with self-injury?
Those exist??

Do you like looking at pictures of self-injury?
Eh.

Do you sometimes envy other people (non-self-injurers)
Reguarly. 

Have you ever taken any pictures of your cuts/scars?
Yeah. I don't think self injury is beautiful or anything. I have a fear of forgetting things so I "document" what the really bad cuts have looked like.

Do you want to die?
24/7

Have you ever done a school assignment on cutting, or self-injury?
No.

What do you like to listen to while cutting/depression/etc.?
I don't listen to anything. I don't want to associate music with self harm in the future.

Have you ever needed stitches from cutting?
There have been two times I should have received stitches but no one knew I needed them so I didn't get them.

Do you dream about cutting?
I don't do a lot of dreaming.

What do you use to bandage your cuts?
Gauze, sometimes tissue and tape.
  • Mood: Neutral
  • Playing: dick around

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:iconstarlightt1234:
starlightt1234 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:iconloveluvplz:thanks so much for the fave on THIS STUFF IS AWESOME #3!:iconaawplz:
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:iconspaceshipearth:
SpaceShipEarth Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014
Welcome to :iconliterature-anonymous:
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:iconmisseridanampora:
MissEridanAmpora Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014
thanks awfully for watching!
why, i believe i will watch back. you seem a fair young maiden, and a fine person at that! so, i must bid you adieu!
Reply
:iconterrehbau5:
Terrehbau5 Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! This will be a wonderful mutual watch!
Reply
:iconmisseridanampora:
MissEridanAmpora Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014
Indeed, madam!
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